Random Thoughts.

It's hard to think about the fact that I am now 22, and in my fifth year of college. Yet, I still have basically no idea what I want to do with my life. I know what I would love to do, but it's not practical. If I could, I would sing for a living. Maybe I would pursue a career in song writing for myself and others. I would love to be a music teacher, but I screwed up my chances of that when I transferred schools and changed out of music education. I would love to tour and be a singer songwriter like Adele or Ingrid Michaelson. I'm an elementary education major, but teaching a grade isn't even what I want to do. I'm stuck. Everyone around me has graduated, is graduating, or is already in the real world pursuing their real careers. I'm a 5th year "Junior" who doesn't even know what she wants to do tomorrow. I just want to be happy. I want to find something I LOVE to do. I want to look forward to my career.
And separately, I need to focus on me. Taking care of myself. I need to stop putting off what I so desperately want. I want to finally lose the weight that I have been wanting to lose for a long time. The sad thing is, I'm not even sure what keeps me from following through. It's like I have this voice in my head telling me that I can't do it, so I don't do it. I got a gym membership. I just need to start actually dieting alongside the gym membership. I need to start telling myself I'll start NOW, instead of I'll start tomorrow. I need to do without the things I can't eat instead of finding substitutes for them. I need to stop eating out so much, and when I do I need to make better choices.
Today, I promise myself that I will try harder. I will do my best in school even though I'm unhappy with the major I'm in. I promise to stop feeling sorry for myself all the time. And lastly, I promise to DO more of things I've been saying I'll do, instead of just talking about them.