The Poem In The Water
6 years ago
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Heartbroken
The way I've been acting and feeling lately isn't like me at all. Or at least it's different than I've ever felt/been before. I don't want to be this girl: the girl who practically begs someone to stay, begs them to come back. That is so not me. I hate that I'm so wrapped up in this. I hate that the first time I ever fall in love it ends before I even get to really experience it. I've had trouble sleeping. I've cried more than I ever thought possible. The dumbest things make me cry. I feel like I better understand all the songs on the radio now too... and they all make me cry. I think my parents think I'm crazy. I think I'm crazy. You probably think I'm crazy. Does that make me crazy? I hate that I've sent this many messages with no reply, and for that I am truly sorry. But when I said I was in love, I was telling the truth. I hate that things moved so quickly, and ended so abruptly. I hate that I didn't even get a face to face conversation explaining things. I hate that all my feelings were worth to him was a couple brief text messages. I hate how convinced I was that everything was perfect, and most of all I hate that I love him. I miss everything, and can't help but wish for a chance to talk to him in person. I know that things won't change, but I need to understand why. I also know this probably won't happen. Everyone thinks it was a bunch of lies, but I hope to God that it was real. Because I truly believed everything and truly felt everything I said.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
We need to have a discussion. A discussion about why its not okay to be heartbroken. I can't tell you that your feelings are invalid, because I've never been heartbroken before. I've never been in the position you're in, wondering how someone you thought you trusted could let you down. I can't even begin to give you advice on how to make it better.
The only thing I can tell you, however, is to trust in God. And I have no doubt that you haven't heard this recently, but hear me out. God is the only person who truly appreciates your beauty and all you have to give/offer. I think it is disheartening to be in such a sad state because of some boy that obviously has no idea what he wants in life. If he did this to you, what now?
We must have perseverance and above all, faith that our God will carry us and comfort us AND that perfect love WILL be made complete in us through Him. The God you serve will never leave you - I know you've read Gods example of what love should be, "When you hand me to roman soldiers for no offense and kiss me and look me in the eyes and watch them nail me to a tree I will not curse you, I will not cause you to fall dead on the spot".
Keep your head up girlfriend. I don't mean to sound preachy, but I hate to see someone I love burdened with sadness and doubt. You were in love once, awesome! But don't let those memories become a burden to your happiness. You must keep moving forward and, above all, remember that you are loved, cherished, and called for a higher purpose.
Post a Comment